Alright before you start reading keep in mind I’m a perfectly healthy human being. There are some mornings when I really want to eat a McDonald’s breakfast burrito and I don’t believe that in any way should be an indicator of my health practices.
But come on, if you haven’t at least had one, you’re missing out on life in itself. And I quote,
“on the 8th day god created the McDonald’s Breakfast burrito, and mankind said, yum.” Facts are facts people.
Yesterday I was so excited to have a breakfast burrito on my way to work I took off the wrapper, VERY violently mind you; I didn’t even gently unwrap it as it deserved. I just ripped off it’s filthy, greasy wrapper clothing and I threw it to the ground like a sailor back from a two year float. Gave it the respect I’m sure many of you give McDonald’s in the first place.
For the sake of your time, and the fact that I don’t want to really drag out my love of breakfast burritos too much, I came to find that on my first gaping hippo bite, I had eaten a piece of the wrapper. You know those fast food commercials where everyone is dancing and happy that they just ate chicken nuggets? I was living all of those incredibly inaccurate, slightly racist commercials at that moment. Well, I pulled the piece of wrapper out of my mouth and looked down to find it had a small piece of the McDonald’s logo on it. BA DA DA DUM DUM, Merica.
Hey, fun fact. Did you know an unhealthy diet can cause night terrors? Yeah it’s true. It’s amazing the joy certain foods give people.
Sooooo, when I was 18, I went to college. For those who know I attended around 5 colleges, all for the simple fact that I can’t make up my mind a lot of the time.
Story time: when I was younger I always slept with noise. one of my dads (we can discuss this later) always used to get mad at me because I enjoyed listening to this thunderstorm CD when I slept. Well I liked having it turned up really loud. I never really said anything when I was young, because frankly nightmares are exactly what you think they are. Just scary dreams really. And I chalked up most of these dreams to just that. But I found that when I slept with lots of noise, I just, kind of, didn’t have nightmare’s. And so, I can’t sleep without a fan.
Fast forward. I turn 18 and leave for college, and get a roommate who doesn’t sleep with a fan on. Which is perfectly fine until after a few months and hours and months of sleepless nights, I found that there are nightmares, and this little old thing called night terrors. So here is where many of you just click and leave, or if you’ve read anything else I’ve written on the site, stay just a bit more and let me define my weirdness.
First let me just start by saying I’ve only ever told a few people about this really. However, the wonderful woman I’m dating now keeps asking so here we are. And at this moment I’m sitting here with daylight still outside (love daylight savings) it’s much easier to stare at a computer screen and ramble on about things. So, the first thing I see online about night terrors are the questions about the devil, the relevance of God etc. etc. I’m not here to define, or even allow my justifications in believing in either of those entities, but I will say when is comes to comparing what I see when I sleep to say those, “Paranormal Activity” movies, it’s not really far off in all honesty. Oddly enough, as though something knew I was about to, the night before I first watched paranormal activity, I had what’s called, “lucid dreaming.” Basically, you’re asleep but not at all. The best word for it is paralyzed sleep. I lived by myself at this point, but needless to say laying in bed for 4 hours having this happen to you isn’t really all that fun. And yes, you see things, bad messed up things that sometimes I remember and other times just leave an impression. Now, if anyone becomes curious and wants to know what I see, it’s a dark conversation of whiskey and existential thought. And frankly, I just don’t have enough space or describing words. But if you know your religion, I wake up at 3 a.m. almost every day. I’ll let you look that one up.
So here we are close to the end, and most of you are either very interested, or just kind of think I’m a weird dude and you know something you didn’t know about me, and I say take them both and put them together. I’m a semi-weird guy, who finds the fact that he has these dreams very interesting. I’ll explain.
My little brother Sean is an extremely religious (Catholic) person. And if you’ve ever seen us together, we get into some arguments about religion quite a bit. Gay marriage, does God exist and all that fun stuff. Often it’s these arguments lead to the conclusion that I’m a practicing agnostic (I believe in something) which if you break it down, I suppose I am. But stories come from somewhere. Even religious stories, and depending on what religion you do practice there is always a type of heaven and hell.
The only thing I can think of during my dreams which allows me to take back control, comes after the 100% realization that there IS something out there. And maybe that’s God in itself.
Or maybe I’m just super crazy and I’m going to start eating toilet paper like breakfast burritos, I already have half the wrapper in my stomach.
It’s not your proof, but it’s mine. And I have the luxury of not questioning what’s next, but I think it’s a literal battle.
Still REALLY fucking creepy sometimes though.
-Riding the Fine Line